How do I tell my grown children and grandchildren I’m starting to date again?

Mature Hearts Team Relationship Advice

It’s quite natural to want a partner in life – regardless of age. Mature dating isn’t a new concept anymore. In particular, online dating has actually become very common for people all over the world.

Those who are above 50 years of age usually have grown up children of their own who are themselves settled in their lives. Many may even have the fortune of having grandchildren. In such circumstances, people can think that it’s a bad idea to go dating. But the fact remains that without a spouse or significant other in their life, people can become very lonely. It doesn’t have to be this way and nor should we avoid the topic.

Problems usually stem from older singles being embarrassed to talk about dating in front of their grown up children – and maybe even their grandchildren. It’s a very sensitive issue which needs to be dealt with carefully but openly. People sometimes pull back from their families because they aren’t sure how they’ll react. Or, even worse will ignore their needs because of how others might feel.

If you happen to be someone who is on the over 50’s dating scene and are unsure of how to deal with the situation, then this article will give you a few tips to guide you.

  • Have an open conversation

Gather your family around to have an honest discussion about how you’re feeling. Explain your position and emotional basis of wanting to date again and search for a new partner. If you’re lonely, tell them that. Most families will want the best for you. You might be surprised at just how supportive they are.

  • Let them know you appreciate them

Make sure that your family understands your position that you want companionship, support, love and understanding of another individual besides your family. At the same time let them know how important they are to you. That’s why you’re having this conversation with them. Let your family know that their worth and place in your life will never diminish with the arrival of a new partner.

  • Allow them to say what they feel

Having an open conversation also means allowing them to express their feelings. It’s better for you to know if there’s any resistance up front. This way you can look to calm their concerns and ensure that they at least feel like they’ve been listened to. Understanding how the family really feels, will help further down the line.

  • Give them time to get used to the idea

Sometimes when mum or dad say they want to introduce a new person into their life, it can feel unsettling. There might be all kinds of emotions depending on the history of the family. Even though your children are grown up, it may still hurt, or it may feel like their other parent no longer matters. If this is the case, help them come to terms with it if you can. As an adult they have to realise that you have needs and wants to. And that you want their support.

Alternatively, you might be surprised just how well everyone gets on – especially when they see how happy you are. At the end of the day, it is often better to be open and upfront. The key is understanding and cooperating with each other on an emotional level. And as mature adults is this so hard to do?

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